TMI Tuesday #133

1. How many cell phones have you had? How long have you had your current cell phone number?

Three. I've had my current number for about four years now.


2. Where was the last place you had sex?

Bedroom, on top of the covers.


3. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your love life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)

Maybe three, hence this blog.


4. Does Bliss sound like a fun game to you? Have you ever played it?

Meh, maybe. I did download the free trial. We'll see.


5. Is there anything or anyone you would be willing to die for?

My family.

sexual history: a precis

I started writing this in separate parts, but that seemed too long. Maybe I'll expand in the future.

I started really dating my freshman year of high school. I had a couple of relationships, all fairly serious (at least in my mind) but not a lot of sexual activity. Lots of kissing and necking and some above-the-shirt groping. Just playing around, starting to explore.

My sophomore year saw the beginning of a long-term relationship with "Annie"*. We dated for a few years, breaking up (for the first time) a month or so before junior prom. We never "actually" had sex, but she was the first girl I ever went down on. We used to spend a lot of time after school making out, which usually culminated with my either fingering or eating her to orgasm (depending on where we were, etc.), then my going home to masturbate my brains out. I was almost always the more sexually aggressive one in the relationship, and I think my silly brain interpreted this as a problem on my part.

My college life was largely celibate, with my developing unrequited crushes on a few girls but nothing coming of them. When I was 22 I met Jane through an online personal ad (getting desperate and feeling really odd as a 22-year-old semivirgin). We dated for maybe five months and had a lot of decent, vanilla sex, but I don't think it was particularly wonderful for either of us. We were both using each other a bit, I think, or perhaps I'm just a complete ass.

After Jane, I met my now-wife, Susan. We dated for a few years before getting married and had a fairly active sex life for most of that time. After the first year it waned a bit, but was still satisfactory. After getting married it has stereotypically diminished, to where it is now perfunctory, if it happens at all. In fact, I can't remember actually having sex this calendar year.

A few years back I had an affair, something I regret, especially for the emotional damage it did to Susan when she found out. There was this girl in high school who I had essentially relationship tag with. We were both interested in each other at different times, usually when the other was unavailable, so nothing really happened at the time. However, when she reappeared in my life all of my old emotions came rushing back, especially when she confessed the same feelings for me. We shared lots of increasingly flirtatious emails and IMs, leading to an amazing weekend when I was out of town and we absolutely fucked each other's brains out. Seriously amazing. I'm sure it was partly the illicit nature, the limited time, and the decade of mutual desire, but it was mind-blowing. As I mentioned above, Susan found out, and I chose to stay with her. It took therapy and some time living apart before she took me back.

So that's my history in a nutshell. As of today, I feel like a walking bag of hormones. I think about sex seemingly all of the time and have semi-obsessional, unrequited crushes on a couple of my friends. In short, I'm something of a mess. Not beyond fixing, I don't think (at least, I hope I'm not), but I've got some crud built up.

salutations

Greetings. I'm Mr. Octo, a 30-something, married graduate student. I've been wanting to try writing a Secret Sex Blog for a while now and have finally mustered the testicular fortitude to try. I don't know exactly what will be here, other than random thoughts and observations about my sex life (and lack thereof) that I would rather not necessarily share with my usual crowd. I'm hoping to also sort through some of my own hang-ups and issues and become a happier, more well-rounded person.

My hope is to keep this entertaining and perhaps even a little arousing. Comments and suggestions are welcome, of course, but I reserve the privlege to delete (or disemvowel) anything I find hateful, mean, or otherwise unacceptable.